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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?